Tears of the Fallen
Warning: Rated "Adult" for safety, due to dark themes and violence. There may also be some bad language. Don't like, don't read. Disclaimer: I don't own Dungeons and Dragons. Tears of the Fallen Chapter One: Beginning Lilith's POV Pain. This is the feeling that describes me right now. This is what makes me who I am. Nothing else, but pain. There may have been small droplets of joy in my otherwise miserable excuse for a life, but even these are hidden away in a thick cloud of despair that I honestly don't expect to dissappear any time soon. Instead, there is only a chaotic, and yet refined, turmoil consisting of anger, sorrow and bitterness, as well as that deepening, opressive sense of helplessness that constantly seems to be hovering everywhere around me. It's simply a pain so great, no words will ever be able to describe it. The pain of loss and betrayal. I feel so dead and empty inside. Nothing make sense to me anymore. It is as if life itself have lost it's glorious meaning. After all, if someone is living a life filled with bloodshed and tragedy, then that particular someone must either be a very unhappy person, or just plain sick in the head. It just so happens that I exist on recieving end of the line of said bloodshed. Believe me, such a life can never be glorious. Instead, it only destroys you. Which is also one of the main reasons that I don't feel very happy at the moment, because, truth be told, there is nothing to be happy about. Having just recently lost someone very dear to me, I hold no room for any sort of joyfulness. If someone else ever were to go through the same kind of event I have endured and survive it, then I doubt that person would have a good reason to feel cheerful about it. It's an terrible experience that I won't recommend. The only reason I'm still standing and walking, is because that's what they would have wanted. I just hope that wherever they are now, they will be fine. Hopefully, Zinomi, the Spirit of Death, will be kind enough to grant them peace and rest for showing a filthy anomaly of nature like me compassion, even in the face of death. They deserve that much. Why am I being so miserable, and why do I keep talking about someone who are now dead and gone? Also, what is it that sets me so far apart from others that it would cause almost everyone else to view and treat me with hatred and contempt? Where am I now, and where am I going? What am I planning to do? Do I have a specific goal, a destination? And if so, what is it, and how am I going to reach it? Where do I come from, and what am I doing right now? But more importantly...just who and what am I exactly? It's alot of questions, and not all of them can be answered. But I also got nothing left to lose, so I might as well explain. Now, where to start...right. I'll just begin with my identity, so to speak. To properly describe who and what I am is sort of a complicated task, to put it lightly. Further more, it's a sensitive subject, and thus, it's not something that I like to talk about often. I prefer to keep such private information a secret. And no, I'm not nameless. Don't worry. Because I do have a name. But it's also a name that I don't like. But I can't exactly hate it either. Why? Now that is even harder to answer. I was named after someone or something else. I don't precisely know who or what I got my birthname from. All I know, is that it was something bad. Something...hated. Something - or someone - who wasn't very well-liked. It's a simple name with an apparantly twisted history filled with half-truths and lies. It sounds hauntingly fitting and yet terribly misplaced at the same time. I can only imagine that whoever or whatever bore this name must be incredibly infamous. So what is my name? What do I call myself? My name...my name is...Lilith. Lilith Ziquaisol. And in case my name wasn't enough of a hint, I'm a girl. The reason I say "girl" and not "woman", is because I'm only fifteen years old. As a result, I don't considere myself a full grown adult. Not yet, at least. Five more years will likely have to pass before that happens. Until then, I'm merely a teenager. However, due to my rather...unique apparance, both my age and gender can be a somewhat daunting task to figure out, unless someone makes the very daring decision to look at me''...ahem...down there''. Not that I will ever allow them to do such a thing with me, because that would be undeniably disgusting. And yes, I do have something called privacy. Sounds laughable? I'm sure it does. To those who knows no better, it might as well sound like a bad joke. But even this small sign of personal identity have been abused in order to label me an so-called "symbol of evil." Which is just yet another despisable act of prejudice that I simply cannot forget and forgive, no matter how much I'm pleaded and begged to do so. The people who caused me all this misery was nothing but a bunch of spirits-damned hypocrites. If anything, they were the ones who turned out to be the beings of pure evil, not me. Why? Why did they have to call me Lilith? Of all the possible names they could have chosen to give me, why this one? Why give me a more ordinary name to go by, say like Marina, Junika or Leila? Or maybe Lily or Shinomi? The possibilities are endless. One thing is for certain though; I don't like the name Lilith. It has a bad sound to it. But then again...I guess it can't really be helped. I mean, what is done, is done, and there is nothing that I can do about it, right? Absolutely nothing. I'll just have to live and deal with it the best way that I can. If not, then I might as well change my name. I just hope that nobody gets the chance to kill me first. Otherwise, I'm done for. But enough about this. You know who I am now. Now it's time to hear what I am.